From: Heal Your Heart – A Journey to Find Your SOULMATE
I have a dream. Just a simple lovely dream. A dream filled with love. A dream OF love. I wonder if it will ever be realized?
When you complete this chapter you will be able to:
• Recognize the different behaviors within human interactions
• Share love and encouragement with friends and family
I dream of a time when love is the basis of all that we are. When it is stronger and more encompassing than fear and the need for drama we mere mortals seem to enjoy.
Imagine thinking of all our loved ones, without worry, sadness, and the normal everyday fears. When we can know of their difficult situations and pain, their sadness and losses and be our real selves in the only way that makes us feel good.
To look at those we love, and the world at large, then feel and share the most beautiful gift imaginable. Pure love. To sit with a dear one, in support and love, not pity. So they know a friend is near.
Imagine gathering in groups, thinking about the various issues surrounding our lives, and feel only love. And it be that love we become and radiate outwards.
Imagine the impact within us. Imagine the impact of this bounty of love radiating throughout the world. Imagine our loved ones feeling this love, and the strength and support and connectedness which comes from it. Imagine their smile at feeling how they are not alone. Imagine love filling the earth.
It seems such a simple dream to achieve, I wonder why it is so difficult. Why is it that whenever we hear of another’s sadness we automatically jump into the drama of pity and sadness, wishing to know all the sad details, wishing to join their play and become sad ourselves?
Why is it SO hard for people to do the very thing they intend? To support, care and love? Why is so much easier to think of ourselves and our reactions to them? Why can’t we merely give, truly give without a thought of ourselves? Why are we humans too selfish to give freely?
A situation occurs and we are feeling upset or worried. What is the first thing we do? Go tell a friend of course!
We tell them all the ins and outs of the situation, raising the emotions, then what happens? They fill our minds with all the reasons and methods to stop feeling these emotions, to pack them away. Don’t worry, be happy, think of something else, its not your concern in the first place, don’t listen to what they said to hurt you.
We are told NOT to feel what we naturally do!
What do we believe a true friend does in this circumstance, to listen and give comfort and sympathy. We don’t want them to feel bad, so naturally suggestions to feel better are given. Often we take on their sadness and pain.
This scenario is a constant throughout our lives, share a problem, be an ear to another with one. We humans truly believe this is what we are meant to do.
Well I ask this.
Is it really caring to take on their pain and feel it ourselves? Is that anything to do with the other person, or merely us?
Is it really caring to ask for all the gory details, then fuel the drama by adding our comments of how horrible and wronged they have been?
In reality, how does that make the other person feel?
What good is it to keep raising the emotions of sad situations, without doing anything with those emotions? Does it change the situation, help us feel better, do anything at all?
Is it really caring to shower them with sympathy? ‘Oh you poor thing, you must feel terrible’.
What do we encourage them to do? Feel or avoid feeling their sadness and pain?
Why is it that whenever people share something sad, our automatic reaction is to get them to focus on something else, avoiding and devaluing what they actually feel? Who said to feel is such a terrible thing to do?
How do we feel when we share with a friend, only to be told, don’t believe it, focus on something else, it will get better. Does it do anything to make us feel any better? Does it help the situation at all?
Sure we feel that someone cares, or are able to express what we believe IS caring. But is it really? Or is it being needy, from both aspects?
If to connect with another human being in times of dis-stress is wanted by many, how about we make it a WORTHWHILE activity.
What if we changed our belief of feeling itself, made it okay TO feel! What if we changed our belief that its wrong to express emotions and feelings, into our feelings are ALWAYS and in ALL WAYS valid! It is perfectly normal TO FEEL!
What if, when we hear another’s sadness, we remember that experiences are the stepping stone to becoming their opposite. That each person is working towards that point naturally. So rather than our sabotage their freedom from these painful emotions, we support and encourage their journey.
Thinking of the friend who feels unloved as on their magical journey to knowing love, IF they have this experience. The poor one, heading to prosperity, the unhappy, to happy. Each person is striving to reach the exact opposite experience via having, understanding and moving beyond this one!
Perhaps it is because we see no purpose or resolution/benefit to feeling itself, that causes us to avoid doing so at all cost. After all, most of what we feel is related to the dramas and pain in our lives.
When we let ourselves feel completely, stories are told; information, gaps of understanding why we are and do the things we do, our emotions and reasons behind them. This story telling is beyond the conscious mind. When all the stories have been heard, and the emotion peeks, it is no longer needed as an experience, and we are free to release it totally because it’s done with. That’s all experiences are. To have! Including the emotions.
So why hold onto what you feel! After all, it is only borrowed, and not yours to keep. A feeling is an emotional experience, to have so you may know of it, then wave it goodbye.
Coming back to my dream. I can smile at thinking of how magical it would be for all concerned, when this dread and drama of situations is replaced by a new compassion and healing.
Some say I am cold hearted when I don’t engage in behaviors encouraging them holding onto their pain, that is their perception and choice. I love telling all to FEEL freely, what you feel IS VALID.
Sheesh, you have full right to be angry and upset, some mighty uncomfortable things happen. So feel then decide if YOU wish to hold this feeling, or surrender it.
To me, it will be so very special, when we can say to a friend, wow, what a cool experience you are heading towards with this. Only feeling love and support and friendship as we sit beside them while they undergo it. KNOWING they will be just fine.
Activity – Create Your Own Beliefs of Sharing
You now understand love, how to feel and share it, so put what you have experienced and learned thus far to the test.
This chapter contains a unique viewpoint that few people understand. What are your thoughts, what do you want to bring to your own friendships, remembering that unless your friends are taking this journey into love along side you, they will have little understanding of the experiences you have encountered and the concepts you have formed.
What new insights do you wish to include in your life, both involving yourself and how you connect and share with your friends?
How will you handle the differences you now have with your friends? Are you finding a natural graduation towards more like minded people, and less time with the old crowd that are still buried in the life difficulties that you know aren’t necessary?
Have fun while you inspire yourself and your friends!
