You already know how your Christmas will turn out so you know what to expect; the uncomfortable moments, disappointments, conversations, criticisms, and the emotions that you’ll have.
All you have to do is think about Christmas and your lifetime of Christmas experiences instantly tell you the whole story of what to expect.
Would you like this year to be different?
Let me explain…
Within your mind is a list, a very powerful one that rates all events on a scale from good to bad.
Try this and you’ll see what I mean. Think of 2 things you could do next week, one good and one bad. Perhaps sitting outside in the sunshine reading a book and going to the dentist. Can you feel them?
Stop for a moment and think on each. Watch and feel your mind and body reactions. The dentist vision may cause you to literally shake, while the other relaxes you. One simple thought has created such strong mind and physical reactions within you, purely because of this rating list.
If you did go to the dentist or sit outside and read a book next week, both would match your rating list expectations as you don’t need to feel or experience anything else during the actual event because your mind has already pre-determined what it would be like in its entirety and the judgment of good or bad already made.
The rating list stops your ability to experience the ‘now’ moments and is actually why you run on automatic without thought or feeling most of the time.
You have a Christmas rating list too, which is based on your past holiday experiences, and the beliefs you formed from their experience. Whenever you think about Christmas, you will hear the internal expectations of your rating list so you know ahead of time what will happen. And it usually does.
The expectations and judgment of your rating list also dictate your expectations, perceptions and mood at Christmas time.
So, are you ready to have a brand new experience of Christmas?
If you have already worked through the chapters of Heal Your Self – A Journey to Find You go back to the Feeling chapter which has the full exercise to refresh this topic. If you haven’t started the workbook yet, you can still try part of it especially for Christmas.
Think about an activity you do during the lead up to Christmas, listen to your rating list self talk, and then make a decision. Do you wish to have this same experience or would you like to just see what happens?
Say your activity is decorating the tree, which you normally don’t enjoy. This year, on the day you are going to decorate the tree, let your rating list self talk come up then deliberately tell it to silence. Thank it for warning you then decide to ignore it.
Let yourself actually experience decorating your tree as if it is the first time you have ever done so. Watch and notice how much fun it is to watch the tree come to life with color, let yourself feel the excitement of your children’s cries as you turn the light on, if you use a fresh tree keep smelling the pine. Experience this event fully.
Now, make the decision and time to do the same with other Christmas events by making a list of your Christmas expectations, then reminding yourself to stop your rating list during them.
The interesting thing is that once you decide to scrap your rating list, events will be exciting and new, and a whole lot of fun. And not as your rating list told you to expect.
You can practice this right up to Christmas day, increasing your proficiency so you can make Christmas the best you have ever had, because you will be open to see the smiles and feel the love that surrounds you without the restrictions your rating list creates.
The Heal Your Self – A Journey to Find You workbook will show you how to eliminate your rating list for all events.