While you can’t lessen the pain of someone who is grieving, there are things you can say and do to provide genuine support for a fellow human in need.
Understand Grief and Bereavement
By gaining an appreciation of what your friend is going through, you can be a better support, understand their needs, know what to watch for, and build true compassion.
|What Not to say|
Death is a very sensitive and awkward subject for everyone, including your friend. Sometimes people just say the wrong thing because they stumble when they don’t know the right thing to say. Know that nothing you can say will change how they feel, so there is no need to even try. Please avoid the following.
Be a compassionate friend. Do not expect, or assume, or judge anything about their experience, or how they should be managing it.
You can write a special letter on the most beautiful notepaper you can find. Express your sorrow, both for their loss and that they are having to experience this traumatic time.
One of the kindest things you can do for your friend or family member is to tell them that you are here, right beside them, ready and waiting to do and be anything they wish or need you to do or be. Let them know that all they need do is ask.
Doing this in writing is much easier for your friend or family member to cope with.
Sit quietly and let your body and mind relax. Then think of your friend and allow your love to be felt. Feel it in your chest and take some deep breaths to increase this sensation.
Keep thinking about your friend and build your love energy to overflowing, then picture your arms going out, across the miles, to wrap themselves around your dear friend or family member, and let your love flow freely to them. You will feel the energy expand and literally wrap around them.
They will feel your energy and love and it will help them greatly. So think of them once a day and share the gift of love so they know that they are not alone, and feel supported.
Healing the Pain of Grief
While it is not up to you to push or expect those you love to grieve in ways you think they should, you can present them with the opportunity to help themselves. Purchase our companion handbook, Heal your Pain, and when you next visit your friend, casually leave it on a side table and tell them this book will help them heal their emotional pain when they are ready to.
Then do not mention it again.